This Halloween, I’m dressing up as Maleficent and going to all the parties I wasn’t invited to.
a haiku about cats
you are cute but please
stop stepping on my organs
ow that was my boob
Probably the worst types of people are the ones that shut you down to make themselves look cooler than you, for example if you get excited and squeal and they’re like “woah what was that..” or if you talk loudly because you’re passionate about something and they say “relax dude wow” and then give a look… Like fuck off stop trying to act so cool and collected. You don’t seem more mature you just seem fucking boring and monotonously placid.
i do these when i dont know what to do
Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.
The amount of dad jokes…
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."
What have you done
- *watches a movie*
- *sees a dog*
- me: if something happens to that dog I sWEAR TO GOD
manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”
me: am I lying though?
manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired
I love them
they’re wondering what he’s looking for
you’ll always find a place for punk rock at Hogwarts, Mr Potter
"You keep saying you’re not enough and keep saying nobody notices you and it’s not fair because I notice you, and you’re so beautiful"